if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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