Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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