So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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