yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
