We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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