You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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