She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
