I seem to have left my pride at pride
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
