i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
