At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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