We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
