We're facebook friends in real life
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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