but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
