is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
