brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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