i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
