woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
