If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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