How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
