My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
