is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
