Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
