Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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