Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
