i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
