D3 body, D1 cock
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Vodka?
Forever.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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