Non-Jews are for practice
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize