Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
