Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
