i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
