everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
