just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
