I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
