Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
