No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
