why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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