why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
