it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
