Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
