I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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