just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
