I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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