its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
