He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
