The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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