I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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