You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There r osticjed everywhere
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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