we have officially lost it.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
