plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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