There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
