dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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