You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
