I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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