is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
