We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
