I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
