she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
