I'm going to jail i love you
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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