So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
