The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
