I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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