forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize