Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
