you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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