I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
