Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
