I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
